when the road goes into two directions...

I have nothing to say...all i feel is too complicated. i feel confused and sad at the same time.

it's not about love matter yet mainly about friendship and dream..

my best friend-Mawar- and I have been together since we were in junior high school but we did not know each other. we started our friendship when we went to the same senior high school. we got closer when we finally studied in the same faculty in university. we both studied in English study program. we've been together for so long, building our dreams together, sharing our struggle on life, love and dream. i love her as my sister, so does she.

few months ago we  applied to be a teacher at the same school. before applying in that school I've applied in another school, it's a Christian senior high school. i just applied as an unemployed while waiting for the answer from God.

Mawar and I took the test together. we waited for the answer but i got the answer from the Christian school first. i had the interview and was accepted to teach there starting on July. the staff of the new school Mawar and I applied for said that they would text us for the next test we have to go through so we were waiting. i was still questioning God which school He sends me to teach whether it's Mercusuar (the Christian school) or Pelita Hati school when i got the message that i passed the first selection. i was kinda confused. i asked my friend for the text but she said she did not get it..

now you understand why i say i am confused and sad..

i'm sad because i want both of us pass the test so we could teach there together again..as usual..

i'm confused coz i don't know which school i should teach. i know i cant teach in both schools.

i feel bad of my self coz if i knew that i would pass the Christian school first, i should not have gone to have the test in Pelita Hati school and probably would hear the good news from my sister Mawar that she had passed the test. :(

if i didn't go to the next test in pelita hati school, i would become a coward, not only being a coward but i would also disappoint Mawar coz she's supported me so far...

Today when i told her that i did not want to take the next test, she told me the thing that i love. it sounds like this;

"Just grow up Nita..maybe that's not the right place God wants me to teach..."

i know it's just the process for our friendship to grow up... and i have to go through regardless of all the confusion within me..

 And the road must go into two... Mawar and I, we've passed the same road together but there comes a day when we have to take our own ways. we're always friends but cannot always be together in the same place. she has to go through her own road, so have I.. I'm praying all the best for her as she's become my precious one in my life..

pictures of us from moment to moment

4 years ago in Undana

me n mawar

my lovely sista, Mawar

Proberb 17:17

"A friend loves at all times, and a sister is born for adversity"