Voice of Another "ME"

i find myself in the deepest saturation
sometimes i don't know the reason
however, the reason seems to find me today,
leading me to the root of this sickness
and it's all about me.
i cannot blame you for all this feeling coz probably I'm the problem. 
i used to see you perfect regardless of all your infirmities
yet
I've not been ready to face the truth
coz 
in fact, i want you to be spotless


i hate myself for being forgetful 
whenever you do something wrong
i don't understand what i want
i wanna quit walking 
i wanna run away
i wanna leave your world
i keep questioning,
do i really want to do it all?


here's my heart's crying
let me take a breath for a while
let me fly away far from here
or
leave me here alone in my world
without your green
so that i know how it is to be withered and colorless


BUT, i still don't get it
maybe i want none of all..
i don't know,
no, i don't know...




(ignore these pointless words if u want... read as if you were not reading....)


from another me,
Haniva 

Komentar

  1. Unknown3 Mei 2011 pukul 01.04

    I have not seen "the royal wedding" and personally I do not see the point because if I I did watch it I would not help but feel ENVIOUS... to become a "Princess" is most girl's dream.. I will only care if the princess is me or somebody close to me not some girl I dont know of--- he he I'm just being bitter.


    my copy of the Forbidden Game Trilogy is only in PDF format-- and I don't always use the computer due to my busy schedule hu hu.. I am stuck at its 2nd book that is "the Chase" if you like to have a copy of the forbidden game give me your email add i will send it to you via yahoo.. if you like.. :)


    about Fascination.. it doesn't totally tell the story of my life-- I only can relate to the girl-- she's very shy and all... and thank goodness I have not yet met a man as crazy as the one in the book-- . :) I am also reading Strange Tales from Strange Lands-- You can call me a bibliophile yes.. :D


    I read wikipedia's preview for "Looking for ALibrandi" -- it seems as if it is somehow about stereotyping, ethnocentrism or self reference criterion but I am not sure.. I hope we have that book in our library.. o_0


    Can you recommend me Indonesian books (translated to English) .. I don't know so much about Indonesia you see I'd like to learn about your culture most especially the FOOD.. :D

    BalasHapus
  2. Unknown3 Mei 2011 pukul 01.30

    really like this ode-- did you write it ??? it is a little fertive and I keep reading it over and over...



    my own understanding of this ode is---

    the persona in the ode probably loves the one being talked about-- so much that the former pays no heed to the latter's dreadful nature/personality... even though everyone seem to think otherwise, the persona keeps persisting--- giving the being a flawless facade everytime -- and the persona doesn't know why she keeps doing so...


    sometimes I am like that so I know.. :)

    BalasHapus
  3. honey_va464 Mei 2011 pukul 08.57

    hahha...u r not alone coz i was also so enviuos seeing Kate standing behind prince William. many girls feel that way :D, maybe some of them were crying watching the wedding. hahaha
    but we must be thankful being a common girl coz being a princess, getting into a monarchy system is not easy. the rules seems to bind our freedom so we'll become someone who is controlled by rules, kingdom rules. you and i are luckier than Kate..:)

    about the forbidden: i'm quite interested. ok i'll give you my email address so you can send the pdf book. i'll be more relaxed next week coz there r many things must be done this week.

    Alibrandi actually tells about those issues you've mentioned. it mainly discusses about cultural problem (multicultures in australia),seeking self identity including love story of teens. but what i love from the story is because it tells about family relationship, how italian family lives and the way they keep their culture in Aussie. it's cool if you know that they still have a day when they make "pasta" from tomatoes. bearing cultural issues makes that book my favourite. :)

    i dont know whether there are indo novels which are translated into other language but i'll find the information for you. hope it is available..:)

    about the poem, yes you're right. i'm the one who gets blind by love and i hate myself for knowing this fact. this ode depicts the other side of me, that's why my heart's crying for a deliverance. i dont wanna get chained by love..
    another thing is that i want him perfect. i just got aware of my big problem that i'm not ready yet knowing that he is imperfect.. i'm sick of it.. :(

    thanks for reading this ode Jen.. :)

    BalasHapus
  4. honey_va464 Mei 2011 pukul 09.04

    a lil correction.. not "standing behind" but standing beside prince william. wrong type.. :)

    BalasHapus
  5. Unknown6 Mei 2011 pukul 00.08

    you're right-- we are more luckier than Kate in so many ways.. :)


    I have chinese friends here in the philippines.. reading what you have said make me think about my chinese friends and their families differences in culture with us... My friend Carol Lin, she's chinese she talks about her family and I respect her because they have really amazing culture. :)

    I'm looking forward with the Indo books. :D


    Don't hate yourself Haniva. We're just human. We make mistakes for us to learn. If we dont love-- then we're not human. I am sure the one you like is not perfect-- then again, NOBODY is perfect---only God right? :)

    BalasHapus
  6. Unknown6 Mei 2011 pukul 00.09

    Casey's truly my idol.. I like his voice and his knowing so many musical instruments.. :3 I hope what you said would come through.. If only Casey would shave his beard-- then everyone would like him.. :D


    We don't anymore have Philippine Idol now-- I don't know why.. :/ and WOW you know Christian Bautista?? Is he a popular singer in your country? I am glad that he is known outside of the country... I agree christian is truly handsome and talented. thank you for liking him!!! XD Charice Pempengco is from the philippines as well.


    perhaps it doesnt really matter where we come from-- everybody has talents just not discovered yet... :D


    I will send Forbidden Game: The Hunter now-- I will convert it to MS word.. XD I hope you have fun reading it like I did.. because I can't find people to talk about FOrbidden Game!!! :D

    BalasHapus

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