--Weekend--

It's weekend again and I wonder why time flies so fast..
Everything we have would probably fly as the time does..
I don't know what I need to kill this anxiety. I feel lyk my mind is overloaded..
Maybe I need to take a 365 day sleep but when I wake up at the 365th day I would find myself stay in the same situation.. nothing changes coz I've run away from the life challenge and opportunity.
I know I cant skip the rocky ways of my life, yet I've got to keep moving.
I wonder how I could find the solution for my complicated relationship-- a relationship with no prospect (that's what some of my friends say), whether I should keep walking in my ignorance of any 'broken heart's possibility' or I quit today with the fact that I would cry a lot for uncounted days with the guilt of hurting him.
I hate those options.. I hate them.

If there's something that can help me to forget this matter it's all about my struggle for the scholarship this year. Yup, it's been my favorite escape. Next week I'm gonna start the TOEFL preparation class with 3 meetings in a week. Unfortunately it's not as smooth as I thought as I also have to teach on Wednesday until 7.30 pm. The preparation class is every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 6.30-8 p.m, it means that if I finally choose to attend the class on Wednesday I would miss 1 hour or if I skip the Wednesday class I would miss the whole materials for that day.. huff....... :(
It's really a matter for me. I've tried to ask other mentors to take over my class but till today their answers weren't satisfying and the other thing that burdens me is that my students want me to teach. They don't want other mentors but me! I'm afraid of disappointing them if I eventually find another mentor who is available for that class.  Thus, I am still waiting for a miracle.. maybe an angel would come and offer me a help today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.. who knows???!!!

So, it's the glimpse of my weekend.. waiting for a miracle and looking for any solution.

I believe when I write again next week I will laugh at myself for being so anxious about anything today..


I will lift up my eyes to the hills. Where shall my help come from?
My help [comes] from the LORD, who made Heaven and earth.
(Psalm 121;1-2)

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